so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Boobs speak an international language.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
