so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
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