The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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