The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
