whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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