i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
