Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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