oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
