He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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