it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize