just tell him i said nine months
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize