Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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