I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
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