go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
you never un-have a 4some
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
