Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
