New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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