You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Houston, we have a squirter
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
