fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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