just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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