like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
