My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize