the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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