Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
