Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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