hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
