Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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