South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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