I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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