hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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