at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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