His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize