Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
