I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
