I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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