textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
