Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
