He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
