Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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