someone threw a dead crab at me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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