Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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