so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
