but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
