I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
