remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize