i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just high enough for therapy.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize