KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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