His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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