Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you win again, gameday.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
