we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
