You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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