and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize