I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
