you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
