Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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