his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
